Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered Slash Syle
by corrupt blondie
Summary: Slash Warning Xander’s botched love spell turns Cordelia into the most elgible single high school student for all women in Sunnydale!
1. The Spell's Effects

TITLE: Slash Syle Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered  
  
AUTHOR: corrupt-blondie  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
SPOILERS: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered  
  
SUMMARY: Xander's botched love spell turns Cordelia into the most  
  
elgible single high school student for all women in Sunnydale!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.  
  
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just let me know where.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: No idea how this idea came into my head, and I'm sure  
  
the spell plot works, but I thought the story would be very amusing.  
  
FEEDBACK: Pweety pwease with sugar and a cherry on top?  
  
~*~  
  
"Diana... goddess of love and the hunt... I pray to thee. Let my cries bind the heart of Xander's belove," Amy chanted while she lowered the necklace into the concoction, "may she neither rest nor sleep until she submits to his will only."  
  
As the power of the spell increased, so did the flame. With each word casted, the fire grew stronger. Amy continued the spell, "Diana, bring about this love and bless it. The swirls of energy begin to disintegrate while Amy looked at Xander and ordered, "Blow out the candle now!"  
  
The power of the spell squandered. Xander did as he was told and blew out the candle.  
  
~*~  
  
Cordelia somberly entered the halls of Sunnydale High, but she kept up her act of the perky, superfical, popular girl. Like I need any more critiscm, Cordelia thought bitterly. Strolling down the corridor like she owned the place, the cheerleader didn't notice how every girl was staring at her like she was a glass of water in the desert.  
  
Opening her locker, the brunette sighed, absently fingering the necklace Xander gave her on Valentine's Day, but it wasn't there. Then, she remembered Xander took it back yesterday. God, I miss him, Cordelia thought forlornly.  
  
"Hey, Cordelia," someone greeted her.  
  
Cordelia peered from her locker door to see it was Harmony and the little flock of mindless girls she once called friends.  
  
"Harmony," the brunette replied cautiously. She wasn't sure Harmony was here to dish out more insults about her relationship with Xander.  
  
The blonde girl look like she was going to kiss the floor Cordelia walked on, "We heard about Xander." The group look pleased, and Cordelia wondered if their simple brains were all connected. Harmony droned on though, "would you like to sit with us in the quad?"  
  
Corelia was visibly shocked, "Um. sure?"  
  
The group smiled at once and Cordelia cringed. Harmony chirped, "Great."  
  
Grabbing a table, all the girls sat down. For Cordelia, it was extremely awkward because for the first time she was becoming aware that her "friends" were staring at her with a sense of desire. Oh God, Cordelia thought. Even in conversation, Cordelia was looking for a way to bail. She was never so happy to see Xander in all her life when he walked confidently to her side. The girls glared, shooting venom arrows toward Cordelia's former boyfriend.  
  
"Hello ladies," Xander grinned and he looked at Cordelia, "Some kind of weather we've been having, huh?"  
  
When did he become cocky? The former May Queen thought with suspicion. "What do you want? You can't be sniffing around for more jewelry to melt, because all you ever gave me was that Smallmart-looking thing," Cordelia replied, her tone acrimonious.  
  
Xander brushed off the jab and laughed while leaning in the cheerleader's personal space, "Is this love? 'Cause maybe on you it doesn't look that different."  
  
Not good. So not good. Xander in my space. Xander near me. I hope he didn't hear my sharp intake my breathe. Can he hear my accelerated heartbeat? I don't want him near me. He might find out I still want him. Oh boy do I want him. The lithe brunette pushed Xander off of her, "What are you doing? Are you going, like, stalker-boy on me now?"  
  
Her ex-boyfriend look confused, "Sorry. My mistake. "  
  
"Yeah, I should say so," Cordelia dismissed, never giving time to the fact her group of Cordettes were smiling approvingly. Not for the obvious reasons, but they see that Xander wasn't a threat to them. Some of the girls, including Harmony, grinned like a bunch of felines that just ate the cream. Cordelia turned to them and attempted to ignore the looks, "What's his deal?"  
  
~*~  
  
After leaving Buffy drenched in her thoughts of Angel, or rather Angelus, Xander walked out with Amy.  
  
"I think the spell didn't work, Xander," Amy said softly.  
  
"I noticed," Xander glared, "I completely made a fool of myself with Cordelia thinking it worked."  
  
Amy sighed, "I'm still kind of new at this."  
  
"Where did it go wrong?" Xander asked.  
  
The novice witch looked at the ground and mumbled, "I think I made all the girls obsessed with Cordelia."  
  
Xander didn't hear her, "Could you repeat that?"  
  
"The love spell made people love Cordelia instead of her loving you," Amy stated, "I think I used the wrong ingredients or maybe because your intent wasn't pure."  
  
Xander looked moderately disappointed, "You made people love Cordelia?"  
  
"Not just people," Amy exhaled, "specifically. women."  
  
"Women?!" Xander screeched in aghast. 


	2. Girls Coming on to Cordelia

~*~  
  
After her little chat with her friends, Cordelia became acutely aware that not just the group of mindless twits were lusting after her, but practically every girl that Cordelia came into contact with. Coming out of the girl's bathroom, Cordelia ran into Jenny.  
  
"Ms. Calender," Cordelia greeted, "hi."  
  
Jenny looked at the cheerleader from head to toe and licked her lips, "Hello, Cordelia."  
  
Cordelia noticed the action, "Um. look I got to go."  
  
Jenny grasped her arm lightly, "You know, Cordelia. I could. teach you some things."  
  
"That's really not necessary," Cordelia stammered.  
  
The techno-pagan placed her lips millimeters from Cordelia's ear, "I think it is." She then licked the former May Queen's ear.  
  
Cordelia gasped and pulled herself away from the teacher. She asked rhetorically, "What is wrong with everyone today?"  
  
With that said, Cordelia ran full speed to the library.  
  
~*~  
  
Opening the door, Cordelia only saw Buffy sitting at the table.  
  
"Where's Giles?" Cordelia demanded.  
  
Buffy looked up from her book and smiled, "Cordelia, I've been wanting to see you."  
  
"Where's Giles?" The cheerleader repeated while walking towards his office.  
  
"He's not here," the slayer purred, walking closer to Cordelia, "but I am."  
  
Cordelia gulped, "I noticed."  
  
"Funny thing," Buffy prowled closer to Cordelia, "you. me. alone."  
  
The brunette backed away in a frenzy, falling on Giles' couch. She wasn't liking that feral glint in the other girl's eyes. Buffy grinned while crawling on top of Cordelia. 


	3. Xander Interrupts Buffy's Fun Time & Wi...

~*~  
  
Cordelia struggled, "Buffy, you really don't want to be doing this."  
  
"Why wouldn't I?" The blonde slayer replied while running her fingers over Cordelia's torso. She was sitting on top of Cordelia, pinning the other girl to the couch. Buffy cupped Cordelia's breast softly before leaning down to kiss Cordelia's reluctant lips.  
  
Danger Will Robinson. Danger! Cordelia's thoughts were screaming in her ear. She tried to push the smaller girl off of her, but Buffy was holding her hands with her Slayer vice grip. Damn it!  
  
Buffy was practically latched onto Cordelia's soft lips. In the back of her mind, she realized Cordelia wasn't responding, but the slayer was determined. Her tongue ran over the cheerleader's teeth, demanding entry. Cordelia relented, figuring she might as well enjoy herself, opening her mouth to Buffy's eager tongue. The blonde gently ran her fingers down Cordelia's forearm, tickling the taller girl, and placed them on both sides of Cordelia's face.  
  
Buffy's left hand wandered lower to the hem of Cordelia's shirt. She caressed the other girl's abdomen and slowly crept towards the brunette's bust. Finding, in annoyance, that there was a bra in her way of touching Cordelia's breast. Her fingers pushed under the lace bra and Buffy grazed her fingers over Cordelia's erect nipple. Barely registering Cordelia's moan, the slayer continued to massage Cordelia's ample bosom.  
  
"Buffy!" Xander exclaimed, while pulling the blonde off of Cordelia. He was previously torn between watching the show and stopping it, but his conscious kicked in telling him it wasn't right because Buffy was under the spell.  
  
Cordelia whimpered at the sudden loss of human contact, but quickly came to when she realized someone caught her and Buffy making out. She quickly jumped up from the couch, blushing profusely.  
  
"Xander," Buffy snarled, not liking she was interrupted, "what's your problem?"  
  
The boy in question shook the thoughts of Buffy lying on top of Cordelia, "Nothing. I just. have to talk to Cordelia."  
  
Buffy's eyes narrowed suspiciously and before she could protest, Cordelia ran out of the room. She made a move to go after the cheerleader, but Xander held back her arm. Buffy growled and Xander quickly let go. Just as she was about to leave the room, Giles entered.  
  
"Buffy," the watcher greeted, "I found some more texts on Angelus."  
  
The blonde sighed, "So?"  
  
"I figured you and I would read them so you can be prepared," Giles explained, clearly oblivious to the tension in the room.  
  
"Fine," Buffy replied while grabbing a couple books and left the room.  
  
~*~  
  
Cordelia ended up in the bathroom again and while she was looking in the mirror, she noticed a red blemish on her neck. Oh great, I got a hickey from frickin' Buffy Summers. My day could not get any weirder, Cordelia thought while she applied some makeup to her neck. She heard the door open. Crap, I had to go and jinx myself. Nice work Chase, the brunette berated herself.  
  
Out from the bathroom stall revealed Willow.  
  
"Hi, Cordy," the redhead said happily.  
  
"Willow," Cordelia returned.  
  
The amateur with strolled to the sink next to Cordelia's and replied, "I heard you dumped Xander."  
  
"Good deduction skills," Cordelia bit harshly, "it's only spreading around school like the flu."  
  
The acid response flew right over Willow's head as she turned to face Cordelia, "Don't give me wrong. I feel bad for Xander, but now. I can have you all to myself."  
  
"You're with Oz," the cheerleader reasoned.  
  
"Puppy love," Willow dismissed flippantly with a flick of her wrist, "what I really want is you."  
  
Cordelia returned, "Well, I don't want you."  
  
The redhead looked hurt but replied, "You've always been mean to me. and I've loved you regardless. There's got to be some sublimal reason for you always picking on me."  
  
"If you're so smart," Cordelia responded curtly, "then you would figure I insulted you because I don't like you. You must be delusional to think I ever did."  
  
Willow's eyes began to water as Cordelia strolled out of the bathroom with a frown on her face. She didn't want to hurt Willow the way she did, but she knew she had to. 


	4. Buffy Gets Another Go With Cordy & Amy i...

A/N: I got the actual dialogue from Psyche Transcripts.  
  
~*~  
  
Cordelia walked down the corridor, students clearing the way for her entrance. Girls were staring at the brunette beauty, some giggling and others began to follow her. Guys were confused, but watched the scene with some interest, thoughts of Cordelia with another girl consuming their hormonal minds.  
  
The former May Queen wasn't at ease with the situation and wanted to go to Giles for some help because this screamed something of the supernatural variety. However, she didn't want to run into Buffy again.  
  
Turning the corner, Cordelia ran into Amy.  
  
"Cordelia, I have to tell you something," Amy said.  
  
Cordelia sighed, "If it's to proclaim your undying love for me then I don't want to hear it."  
  
"No, that's not it," Amy explained but she paused, "well I do want you, but there is something else."  
  
"What?" The cheerleader questioned.  
  
Amy inhaled before explicating, "I don't know if Xander told you but."  
  
Cordelia noticed down the hall that Giles was entering the library so she cut off the other girl, "Sorry to interrupt, but I have to go. Tell me later."  
  
Amy looked ready to argue, but Cordelia already scampered down the hall with a quickening pace.  
  
~*~  
  
"It, it's me... throwing myself at your mercy," Xander said.  
  
The librarian looked perplexed, "What? Why?"  
  
Xander began explaining, "I made a mess, Giles. See, I found out that Amy's into witchcraft, and I was hurt, I guess, so I... made her put the love whammy on Cordy, but it backfired, and now every woman in Sunnydale wants to make Cordelia their cuddle monkey, which may sound swell on paper, but..."  
  
He was cut off as Cordelia barged in through the library doors and demanded, "Okay, explain to me how I became some sex icon for the women of Sunnydale."  
  
Xander gaped like a fish, trying to explain, but the words never left past his lips.  
  
"Um," Giles stammered not really believing it, "Xander did a love spell."  
  
"What?" The cheerleader exclaimed before turning to Xander, "are you that much of a perv that you'd every girl in school to love me?"  
  
Before Xander could answer the question, Jenny walked into the room.  
  
Jenny stated, "Rupert, we need to talk. Hey, Xander. Nice shirt," she briefly paused before continuing,"look, Rupert, I know that you're angry at me, and I don't blame you, but I am not just gonna go away." The techo- pagan stops, noticing Cordelia was in the room. She gave the younger girl a seductive smile before looking back at Giles, "I mean, I care far too much about you to..." Jenny looked at the cheerleader again, "so how about the lessons, Cordelia?"  
  
Xander's confession being of the truth, Giles grew wide. He noticed Jenny looking at Cordelia but he turned to the young man, "I cannot believe that you are fool enough to do something like this."  
  
"Oh, no, I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this," Xander replied with some sense of shame edging in his voice.  
  
Ms. Calander toyed with her necklace, eyeing a very uncomfortable Cordelia.  
  
"Has, uh... Has Amy tried to reverse the spell?" Giles questioned.  
  
"No," Xander answered, "she's too busy making lovey-dovey eyes at Cordelia."  
  
Jenny made a move closer to Cordelia, while the younger girl cowered back, Giles pushed the teacher away. He seethed, "Do you have any idea how serious this is? People under a-a love spell, Xander, are-are deadly. They lose all capacity for reason." He looks at Jenny rubbing her hands over body, momentarily distracting him, but he stared at Xander again, "And if what you say is true and the entire female population is affected, I..."  
  
Giles glanced at Cordelia, "Don't leave the library okay?"  
  
"No problem," Cordelia responded while sitting down.  
  
The watcher glared at Xander, "We'll find Amy and see if we can put a stop to this thing."  
  
The two men headed toward the door, forgetting that they were leaving Jenny with Cordelia. The teacher rubbed her hands together with a smile on her face. She sauntered towards the cheerleader while Cordelia made an eep sound. Giles, realizing his mistake, walked back towards Jenny and dragged her away from her object of desire. Hands stretched out, Jenny protested, but it feel upon deaf ears as the three of them left the library.  
  
Once she was alone, Cordelia got up an moved the card catalog to hinder from any unwanted females to enter. Satisfied, the brunette made her way back to the table. She heard the door swing open and bang against the catalog. Snapping her head in a cartoony fashion to see who the guest was, her heartbeat went double time when she saw Buffy. clad in a raincoat that ended mid-thigh and black heels. Cordelia's mouth dropped open in astonishment when she saw Buffy leaning against the theif detector, her right ankle rubbing against her left calf.  
  
"Alone at last," Buffy stated, her tone hinted of a promise that Cordelia didn't want.  
  
"Buffy," Cordelia squeaked, "hey."  
  
The slayer sashayed to the other side of the room to meet up to Cordela, "I want to finish what we started yesterday."  
  
Buffy began to untie the belt to her raincoat and Cordelia panicked, "Please keep the raincoat on."  
  
"Why?" Buffy prompted, "I just want to be close to you."  
  
"That's the thing," Cordelia chuckled nervously, "we are close. too close for my liking."  
  
The petite blonde unfastened one button, "Come on! It's a party! Aren't you gonna open your present?"  
  
Cordelia put her hands out in front of Buffy to gesture her to stop, "One, it's not my birthday. Two, I'm feeling really uncomfortable."  
  
"Uncomfortable?" Buffy questioned, "I can make you really comfortable."  
  
Buffy prowled closer to the taller girl, and in alarm, Cordelia sprinted up the stairs. Buffy smiled before giving chase.  
  
In one of the bookshelves, Buffy pinned Cordelia. Buffy stared at the brunette's heaving chest before looking up into Cordelia's eyes, "I like playing hard to get."  
  
Her arms held over her head, Cordelia saw Buffy moisten her lips. The slayer's body covered Cordelia as Buffy leaned up to the brunette's lips.  
  
God! Not again! Cordelia thought exasperatedly. Then she felt Buffy's thigh rub up against the apex of her thighs and all Cordelia's thoughts vanished.  
  
Amy entered the library, after having searched the entire school with a fine-tooth-comb for Cordelia, this was the last place she looked. Finding it empty, the witch was crestfallen. However, just as she was about to leave, she heard some moaning. To investigate, Amy peered around a bookshelf, and what she saw broke her heart. There in all her glory was a bra clad Cordelia, and a practically naked Buffy groping her. Sometime during their makeout, the belt to Buffy's jacket came undone.  
  
Out of no where, anger course through her veins, "Get away from her."  
  
Their time together once again interrupted by someone, Buffy pulled away from Cordelia's lips and growled at the intruder.  
  
Buffy felt a cold breeze on her body, and she glanced down to notice she was almost naked. Quickly, as the blood went to her brain, Buffy covered the front of her body by wrapping the jacket and tying the belt. Cordelia was frantically trying to find her shirt and pulling it over her head.  
  
"She's mine," Amy stated through narrowed eyes.  
  
Cordelia, figuring the two girls were too caught up in each other, made a bolt for the door.  
  
Both girls noticed the cheerleader's departure and ran after her. Buffy cut the brunette off from the door, gently holding Cordelia's arm.  
  
"Haven't you heard a word I said?" Amy snarled, "She's mine."  
  
Buffy took a threatening step to Amy before replying, "Oh, I don't think so."She glanced toward Cordelia. "Cordy, tell her."  
  
"Uh." the brunette was at a loss for words.  
  
"She doesn't have to say," Amy stated, which caused Buffy to look back at her, "I know what her heart wants."  
  
Buffy seethed, "Funny, I know what your face wants."  
  
The slayer punched Amy in the face, and the other girl fell to the floor. She then confronted Cordelia, her face twisted in anger, "What is this, you're two-timing me?"  
  
Cordelia is speechless, no words of explanation left her lips as Amy got up from the floor. Amy's eyes were pitch black and she was chanting. Uh-oh, Cordelia thought in fear.  
  
The witch's hands were careening as she spoke, "Goddess Hecate, work thy will." The energy of the spell circled around Amy before she finished incantation, "Before thee let the unclean thing crawl!"  
  
Amy shoots her arms towards Buffy, and the energy of the spell encompasses the blonde. The last remaining swirls of power from the spell evanesced, and Buffy vanishes, only her shoes and jacket are left behind.  
  
"Buffy!" Cordelia yelled astoundingly. She stared at Amy and accused, "What did you do?" 


	5. The Buffy Rat, Jenny and Amy Argue, & Xa...

~*~  
  
Giles and Jenny reentered the library, there search for Amy useless. Xander was still looking for the blonde witch, under Giles' orders. Nevertheless, they were surprised to see the young with standing before them, and a very dazed Cordelia staring at the pile of clothes in the middle of the room.  
  
Giles looked at the pile of clothes, "What, what just happened?"  
  
Cordelia croaked, pointing towards the piles, "Buffy."  
  
As if on cue, a rat ran out of a sleeve. They all knew the animal was indeed Buffy.  
  
Giles gasped, "Oh my God!"  
  
Amy caught sight of Jenny and turned towards Cordelia, "Why is she here?"  
  
"Can you focus for a minute? You just turned Buffy into a rat," Cordelia glared at Amy.  
  
Buffy scurried across the floor while only Giles paid attention to the rat.  
  
Amy walked to the cheerleader and smiled, " Buffy can take care of herself." She ran her fingers over Cordelia's arm, "Why don't we go someplace private?"  
  
Jenny narrowed her eyes at the young witch while placing her hands at her hips. Giles, on the other hand, wasn't paying any attention to their situation, completely engrossed on finding his slayer.  
  
Cordelia pulled her arm away from Amy's grazing fingers and stared at the with a steely gaze, "I'm not going anywhere until you change her back."  
  
Jenny, sensing an opportunity, strolled between the high school students and linked arms with Cordelia, "You heard her. So why don't you undo your little magic trick and get lost?"  
  
Scowling, Amy inquired, "Who made you Queen of the World? Well, you're old enough to be."  
  
"Well, what can I say?" The gypsy replied breezily, her arm enveloping Cordelia's waist, "I guess Cordelia's just too much woman," she tightened her hold on the younger girl, "for the pimple squad."  
  
Cordelia pushed the teacher off of her and screamed, "Get off me! It's like. illegal!"  
  
While the other two women were distracted, Amy shot her arm between them and shoved Cordelia away from Jenny. She waved her hands and started to cast another spell. Her eyes turned obsidian, and energy began to snake around Amy as she chanted, "Goddess Hecate, to you I pray, with this..."  
  
Cordelia muffled the other girl by placing her hand over Amy's mouth, "Would you quit that?!  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, Xander was scouring the halls for Amy. He turned the corner and ran into Cordelia's friends led by Harmony. He tried to walk around them, but they circled around, trapping him. They all stared at him balefully.  
  
"What's up?" Xander managed to squeak.  
  
Harmony, hands on her hips, glared at the young man before her, "It's just not right. You never loved her. You just used her." She paused before spitting out, "You make me sick."  
  
In unison, they all stepped forward, closing Xander in.  
  
The young put his hands out to ward them off and gulped, "Now, ladies. this is all just a misunderstanding."  
  
Harmony slapped Xander, and before Xander could register anything, another girl pushed him up against the lockers. The girls finally managed to bring Xander down to the floor, beating the young man.  
  
~*~  
  
In the library, Giles noticed the escalated situation between the three women, but he lost track on where Buffy scampered off to.  
  
"You two," the librarian gestured to Amy and Jenny, "help me find the Buffy rat." He turned his gaze toward Cordelia, "I think it's best if you go home and isolate yourself, Cordelia."  
  
"So not a problem," the brunette waved her hand. She grabbed her things and headed towards the door, but something made her pause. She slowly raised her head and called the watcher, "Giles," the older man looked at Cordelia and she continued softly, "keep me posted on the Buffy situation."  
  
Giles nodded, acknowledging the younger girl as she left the library. The two other occupants of the room protested adamently that she didn't go, but no one listened to the the love-crazed women. 


	6. Cordy Saves Xander, More Jenny & Amy Bic...

~*~  
  
Oz strolled in the library, on the prowl for Cordelia. He had listened to Willow cry on the phone about the brunette all night. After talking with the redhead, he felt compelled to talk to Cordelia. However, taking in his surroundings, he saw three people crawling on the floor. He recognized them as Amy, Ms. Calendar, and Giles, but the person he was intentionally looking for was no where in sight.  
  
"What are you doing?" The guitarist questioned.  
  
Giles peered up from his search of Buffy to look at the visitor, "Looking for Buffy."  
  
"I don't think Buffy could fit under a bookshelf," Oz reasoned.  
  
Giles sighed, "It's quite a long story."  
  
Amy interrupted the librarian, "I turned her into a rat because she was messing with my Cordelia."  
  
Jenny snorted, "Your Cordelia? That's a laugh."  
  
The blonde witch narrowed her eyes at the older woman.  
  
Meanwhile, their momentarily loss of attention on finding Buffy, it was all it took because the Buffy rat darted from her hiding place and headed towards the open library door.  
  
~*~  
  
Cordelia hesitantly walked down the hall, on the look out for any unwanted females in sight. She let out an audible sigh of relief, finding only guys scattered throughout the hall. She was still on alert, however, as she quickly paced herself to the door of her freedom.  
  
Almost there, Cordelia thought happily. Suddenly, she heard a fight around the corner. The voices were mostly female, but Cordelia briefly heard Xander's protests. Glancing down the hall to assess whatever situation her ex-boyfriend got himself into, all she saw was a mass of girls crowded around someone. That someone being Xander, Cordelia concluded.  
  
She gazed at the door, the sun shining through the window. It was calling to her, telling her this was her chance. Then Cordelia brought her eyes down the hall, she shook her head before running to aide Xander. Some of the girls noticed her coming in their direction and immediately ditched Xander.  
  
Cordelia was nearing the fight, some of the girls grabbing at her. She fought them off, and pushed girls aside to get to Xander.  
  
"Get off of him!" Cordelia commanded while making her way to her ex.  
  
Finally reaching him, she lowered her hand to help him up, ignoring the other girls clawing at her. Xander got to his feet, and both of them ran towards the door. The group of girls were chasing them, all the while calling Cordelia's name.  
  
~*~  
  
Giles looked at the young man standing before him, "Oz, could you aid us in finding Buffy while Amy, Jenny, and I break the spell?"  
  
Oz nodded, "Sure. Absolutely."  
  
"All right," Giles turned to the two other women, seeing them brushing themselves off of any dirt, "Let's get everything prepared to reverse the spell."  
  
~*~  
  
Xander and Cordelia burst through the door; escaping from the mob of women behind them.  
  
"I think we..." Xander began to say, but he noticed another pack of girls before him, "lost them."  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes at her ex-boyfriend.  
  
~*~  
  
Back in the library, Oz had already left in search of Buffy and the other three occupants left in the room were working on reversing the spell. Giles was searching through some books at the table with Amy sitting opposite from him while Jenny was pacing.  
  
"You must have botched the ritual so that Cordelia's necklace actually made her allure women, like the pervious owner would have the love spell work on them. Th-that one should be easily reversible. W-where did you learn animal transformation?" The librarian finished, somewhat amazed.  
  
The young witch was wiping some blood from her nose while replying, "Why did you send Cordelia away?"  
  
Giles, upon hearing her question, pinched the bridge of his nose to ward of any signs of an oncoming headache.  
  
"She needs me," Amy finished adamantly.  
  
Jenny attempted to stifle a chuckle, "That's a laugh."  
  
The blonde narrowed her eyes at the older woman, "She loves me. We look into each other's souls."  
  
"No one can love two people at once. What we have is real." Jenny placed her hands at her hips while replying, putting extra emphasis on 'we'.  
  
Giles interrupted the bickering women, "Instead of making me ill, why doesn't one of you try to help me?"  
  
Amy looked back into her pocket mirror and responded dramatically, "You have no idea what I'm going through."  
  
Standing up, the watcher slammed his fist on the table. He stated austerely, "I know it's not love. It's obsession. Selfish, banal obsession." In the mist of their conversation, Jenny slowly headed for the door. "Now, Xander has put Cordelia in very great danger. If you cared at all about her, you'd help me save her, rather than wittering on about your feelings."  
  
Jenny smiled as she made her escape and Amy looked away from Giles.  
  
Giles pointed his finger at a book before continuing, "Now, let's get on with some work." He looked up in search of Jenny, "Now, Jenny..." However, he realizes she's gone, "Great!"  
  
~*~  
  
Willow is standing before Cordelia and Xander with a group of girls behind her. She was between furious and heartbroken. Her eyes red and swollen from crying all night over Cordelia. She spoke, "I should've known I'd find you with him."  
  
Cordelia's eyes softened when she saw the state Willow was in. She called to the redhead softly, "Willow."  
  
Willow paused when she heard her love's gentle voice. She shook her head, warding off any thoughts of the cheerleader.  
  
Xander looked at his best friend's grip on the ax; he noticed that Willow's knuckles were turning white, like little baseballs on her hands.  
  
"Willow," Cordelia said, "you don't want to do this."  
  
The redhead's eyes flared in anger, "Oh, no? You don't know how hard this is for me. I love you so much! I'd rather see you dead than with that bastard."  
  
She advanced towards them, raising the ax, and the other girls followed suit. 


	7. Joyce Flirts, Angelus Comes To Play, & D...

~*~  
  
Harmony and another group of girls ran out the door to see Xander and Cordelia being attacked. They began to charge Willow's group, in fury that they'd even try to hurt Cordelia. Harmony grabs Willow's ax and tries to rip it out of the redhead's hands. There was screaming all around them from girls fighting.  
  
Harmony yelled at Willow, "Get away from her! She's mine!"  
  
Figuring this was there means of escape, Xander grabbed Cordelia's hand and bolted away from the mob of angry women. However, their departure didn't go unnoticed as the group of girls, banned together, began to chase them.  
  
~*~  
  
In the school basement, Buffy scurries down the stairs and heads towards the boiler room. Oz is right on her trail, having tracked the Buffy rat this far. Once reaching the bottom of the steps, he scanned his flashlight around his surroundings in search of Buffy. The Buffy rat managed to make it in the boiler room and Oz soon followed. However, Buffy met up with a cat that hissed at her. The Buffy rat, sensing trouble for her own well being, squeaked and ran away from the feline. The cat meowed in protest before chasing after Buffy.  
  
~*~  
  
Xander and Cordelia ran down the street in the dark. Looking over his shoulder and seeing no one behind them, Xander slowed down to a quick walk and Cordelia joined him.  
  
"My God," Cordelia breathed, "Elvis died and made me king. well queen in my case."  
  
"Let's keep walking," Xander ordered, looking over his shoulder again.  
  
"Where are we going?" Cordelia asked.  
  
Xander looked over his shoulder again before answering, "To Buffy's house."  
  
They both run up to Buffy's house and began banging on the door, alternating between looking over their shoulders for a mob of women hot in pursuit and knocking on the door in a frenzy.  
  
"Come on!" Cordelia yelled.  
  
Joyce finally opened the door, "Xander, Cordelia, what..."  
  
The two students pushed past her and Cordelia greeted the older woman, "Yeah, hi."  
  
Joyce closed the door after they entered. Both Cordelia and Xander looked out the small windows, watching for any crazed mobs coming there way.  
  
Once satisfied, they all got situated in the kitchen.  
  
"What happened? Why are you all scratched up? Where's Buffy?" Joyce questioned worriedly.  
  
Cordelia replied, "She's um. around."  
  
The older woman gestured to a stool, "Well, sit down and tell me about it." Cordelia grabbed a seat while Joyce looked at Xander, "Why don't you run upstairs and grab some bandages out of the bathroom, Xander?"  
  
The young man nodded before walking down the hall and headed up the stairs.  
  
Joyce walked around the kitchen, "Let me, uh, get you something to drink. You in the mood for cold or hot?"  
  
"I'm not really that thirsty," Cordelia replied, "but thank you for offering."  
  
It looked like Joyce didn't hear a word the brunette said because she walked behind her and continued, "I think it's," The older woman began massaging Cordelia's shoulders, "more of a hot night, don't you?"  
  
Cordelia's body froze when she heard how Joyce used the word hot. She mentally screamed 'oh God' over and over in head.  
  
Buffy's mom went on unperturbed as she massaged the brunette's shoulders, "Oh, you are so tense."  
  
The older woman kissed Cordelia's neck and the former May Queen visible flinched.  
  
"Oh boy," Xander said, having seen what just happened. He sort of hoped that Joyce wasn't affected by the spell, but that idea obviously went out the window.  
  
Joyce looked up at the interloper, "Xander, go back upstairs. This is between us."  
  
"I think not," Xander replied while grabbing Joyce's arm and pushed her towards the door. He opened it and Joyce began to protest.  
  
"What are you doing? Hey! Get your hands off me!" Joyce said, but Xander closed the door in her face and locked it.  
  
"This has really got out of hand," Xander stated.  
  
Cordelia rolled her eyes, "You think?"  
  
Suddenly, the window pane breaks and Joyce's arm is reaching for the lock.  
  
Buffy's pleaded, "Cordelia, honey, let Joycie in. Hon, let Joycie in!"  
  
Thinking quickly, Xander grabbed Cordelia's hand and ran away from the kitchen.  
  
"Let's go to Buffy's room," He offered to his ex, dragging her up the stairs.  
  
Joyce finally worked the lock, "Sweetheart."  
  
Cordelia ran in Buffy's bedroom with Xander close behind her. She stood by the window while Xander closed and locked the door. He paced over towards the windows, "Good. The mob still hasn't found us. We should be safer up here."  
  
Xander walked towards the bed and looked back to Cordelia in time to see Angelus grabbing her.  
  
The vampire smiled, "Works in theory."  
  
He pulled the cheerleader out of the room.  
  
"Cordy!" Xander yelled fearfully.  
  
~*~  
  
With the cat gone, Buffy wiggled her nose, finding a hint of a delicious smell. Following her nose, her destination came to be a piece of cheese in a mouse trap.  
  
~*~  
  
Angelus threw the cheerleader on the ground and he immediately followed. He landed on his feet gracefully while Cordelia didn't have the pleasure. She groaned in pain, but Angelus roughly picked her up. He held Cordelia close, her back was to him and he noticed a vein throbbing on the young girl's neck.  
  
He sniffed Cordelia, finding that the cheerleader's scent was mixed with something he was all too familiar with. Buffy.  
  
"Where's Buffy?" He snarled in Cordelia's ear.  
  
Xander looked out the window and screamed, "Cordy!"  
  
"I. I don't know where she is," Cordelia admitted softly.  
  
The recently soulless vampire grinned, tilting Cordelia's neck for easy access, "I smell her all over you."  
  
"Cordy," Xander yelled, "I'm coming."  
  
His demon visage masking over his human features, Angelus laughed, "Perfect. I wanted to do something special for Buffy, actually to Buffy, but this is so much better!"  
  
Cordelia head butted the vampire's face and she momentarily freed. Taking her chance, Cordelia made a bolt for it, but Angelus quickly recovered. He snatched the beautiful young woman again and chuckled heartlessly, "Feisty aren't you?" When Cordelia didn't reply Angelus continued, "If it's any consolation, I feel very close to you right now."  
  
Just as he was about to bite down on Cordelia's neck, a hand grabbed his shoulder and threw him into a tree. The vampire hit his head, his game face reverted back to human form and was in a daze for a second or two.  
  
Cordelia jumped to the conclusion it was the blonde slayer that saved her, "Buffy, how."  
  
She looked up and her savior was definitely not Buffy.  
  
"Don't fret, kitten," Drusilla helped Cordelia up, "Mummy's here."  
  
Angelus' eyes flashed yellow, "I don't know what you're up to, Dru, but it doesn't amuse!"  
  
Drusilla growled at her sire and he easily returned the gesture.  
  
The insane vampire raked her cold fingers threw Cordelia's long chestnut hair, "If you harm one hair on this girl's head..."  
  
The male vampire looked incredulous, "You've gotta be kidding. Her?"  
  
"Just because I've found something real, Daddy, doesn't mean you have throw a tantrum," Drusilla replied sweetly.  
  
Angelus shook his head, "I guess I really did drive you crazy." With his parting words, Angelus faded into the night.  
  
Drusilla turned to the frightened young woman before her, "Your face is a poem." She moaned, "I can read it."  
  
"Really?" Cordelia inquired sarcastically, "Does it say 'destined for stardom as soom as she gets the hell out of Sunnydale' by any chance?"  
  
The vampire lightly kissed Cordelia on the lips and murmured, "How do you feel about eternal life?"  
  
Cordelia attempted to reply, but fear was etched in her body, and she couldn't grasp any words.  
  
Drusilla ran a finger over Cordelia's jaw that slowly crept to the column of her neck. Her cold fingers felt a palpitated pulse, and she could hear Cordelia's frenzied heartbeat echoing in her ears.  
  
"No need to be frightened, kitten," Drusilla whispered in Cordelia's ear. She gently bit the younger girls ear and Cordelia gasped.  
  
Drusllia's cold lips latched on to Cordelia's hot skin. The former May Queen felt equally cold arms wrap around her. She was paralyzed with fear, and her body so tense that she couldn't even move.  
  
The vampire kissed Cordelia's neck, the throbbing of the younger girl's vein tingled her whole body.  
  
Cordelia heard a bone-crunching noise and knew that the vampire was in her demon visage. She was held tight as Drusilla softly sank her teeth in Cordelia's neck.  
  
The cheerleader winced, but the pain was gone as quickly as it came. Drusilla drank and drank, while Cordelia's eyes began to water. Cordelia gazed at the star-filled night as she felt her limbs go numb. Hot tears scorched their way down from the corners of her eyes. 


	8. The Mob Comes Back Full Force, The Spell...

~*~  
  
Drusilla, still drinking from Cordelia, was distracted when a large mass of women charged towards her.  
  
"There she is! Get them!" Some unidentified girl yelled.  
  
Jenny saw and recognized the vampire, "She's mine! Get off!"  
  
The vampire let go of Cordelia, and the young woman crumbled to the ground, holding the wound on her neck with her hand. Drusilla licked her blood- coated lips, her fangs sparkling under the moonlight.  
  
Willow shoved the vampire aside while Jenny jumped on an already weakened Cordelia.  
  
Cordelia noticed how everything was so blurry, and all she saw above her was a cloud of faded out faces. She realized absently that some of the girls were grabbing at her, but her feeble protests did nothing to stop them. Xander ran outside the house and his heart tightened when he saw glimpses of Cordelia being smothered by the girls. Cordelia was pinned down to the ground as Willow raised the ax to strike.  
  
Willow roared, "All you had to do was love me!"  
  
Xander saw this and ran to Cordelia's aid, "No!"  
  
He yanked the ax from his best friend's hands and regretfully shoved her to the ground. Xander put all his attention on Cordelia as he fought to the center of the mob.  
  
"Get out of the way! Move it! Get off her!" Xander commanded.  
  
He roughly pulled the girl that was pinning Cordelia away, and he grasped for the cheerleader's hand. He pulled her up, but her legs were like jello. Xander saw blood seeping through Cordelia's fingers on the hand that was grasping her neck and he grew even more worried. He lifted her up like a husband would carry his wife over the threshold and jogged to the house. Once inside, Xander kicked the door, slamming it in the mob's faces. With his ex-girlfriend still in his arms, Xander began running for a hiding place.  
  
Drusilla pushed the door, utilizing her vampire strength. The door now blown off it's hinges, the girls began to push their way inside.  
  
"I love you," another unknown girl said.  
  
Drusilla smiled before attempting to follow, but was stopped by an invisible barrier. She looked visibly crestfallen.  
  
She heard someone snickering behind her, "Ahh! Sorry, Dru," turning to face the person taunting her, she saw Angelus grinning, "I guess you're not invited."  
  
Drusilla whimpered.  
  
~*~  
  
Running by the front door with a nearly passed out Cordelia in his arms, Xander stood face to face with a knife-wielding Joyce. Cordelia noticed that Xander stopped, and she slowly turned her face at Joyce.  
  
The older woman paid no mind to Cordelia's condition while stating, "It's never gonna work for us, Cordelia. We have to end it."  
  
Cordelia lolled her head back into Xander's chest in response.  
  
Two other girls ran up from behind Buffy's mom, and Xander headed to the basement as quickly as he could.  
  
Once inside, he leaned Coredelia against the wall as he locked the door. Xander looked back at Cordelia, and took in the cheerleader's ashened face. Her hand was held limply at her neck, her blood caked on her fingers. Xander daintily lifted her hand to see two holes. Once there was no pressure on the wound, more blood oozed from the twin punctures.  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, in the boiler room, Oz scanned the flashlight in the area.  
  
"Here, Buffy," Oz called.  
  
Buffy looked at the trap then at pile of rags. She climbed over the pile and headed straight for the trap.  
  
~*~  
  
Giles and Amy stand in the science lab with a beaker filled with brew right on top of a Bunsen burner. Giles checked everything to see if it was all tip top.  
  
Satisfied, he looked at the young witch, "Okay, go on. You first."  
  
~*~  
  
The basement door was being pulled at ferociously, Xander nailed some planks of wood to the door frame. He looked back at Cordelia to check her status. She was sitting on some of the steps, her head lolled to side, and her hand lightly placed over neck.  
  
"Cordelia," Xander said.  
  
"Yeah?" Cordelia mumbled softly.  
  
Xander sighed in relief, "Just checking."  
  
Cordelia murmured, "If we die in here I'm so going to kick your ass." She finished off softly, "I mean it."  
  
The young man held a soft smile at the cheerleader. Bold to the very end, he thought.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted though, by a knife plunged right by his face. He yelped in surprise before leaning down and helping Cordelia down the stairs. He heard glass breaking and someone pleaded, "Oh, please let me touch you!"  
  
~*~  
  
In the science lab, Amy began her chant to reverse the spell.  
  
"Goddess of creatures great and small, I conjure thee to withdraw," Amy's eyes turned pitch black before continuing, "Hecate, I hereby license thee to depart."  
  
Giles sprinkled powder over the beaker and the brew sparked with electricity.  
  
~*~  
  
Oz, still in search of Buffy, pointed the flashlight towards a glowing swirl behind a crate. He squinted his eyes at the crate when the glow dispersed.  
  
"Buffy?" Oz called out hesitantly.  
  
Buffy's head popped up from behind the crate. She was human again.  
  
~*~  
  
Xander carried Cordelia's prone form by the washer and dryer, and he vaguely heard the basement door being yanked open. Willow crawled through the array of haphazardly nailed boards in her way.  
  
Xander looked around frantically and he spotted a lead pipe. He grabbed it in case he needed it as a weapon. With Cordelia by the water heater, he stood protectively over his ex-girlfriend. He looked up at the stairs to see Willow prowling down with a knife-wielding Joyce behind her. More girls were following them. Soon Xander and Cordelia were trapped.  
  
~*~  
  
Back in the silence lab, Giles took a pinch of some herb from a jar, "Um... Diana, goddess of love, be gone." He threw the herb in the beaker to mix with the concoction. It sparkled and the watcher finished the spell, "Hear no more thy siren's song."  
  
~*~  
  
Willow leaded the pack of girls, closing Xander and an unconscious Cordelia in. Xander was not liking the crazed looks in all of them, and he gulped. The girls charged at them, screaming and yelling in fury. They knocked Xander down, and all he could think of doing was protecting Cordelia's prone form. He lied on top of her as the girls screamed in rage at him touching their Cordelia. They began pawing at him, scratching at him with a fury like no other. Xander's jaw clenched when he felt nails jabbed into his skin. He had to hold on, for Cordelia's sake, but he felt like he was being shredded into little pieces.  
  
~*~  
  
Meanwhile, back in the science lab at school, Giles held the pendent over the beaker. He dropped it in the concoction and suddenly a haze of energy fabricated above them. They held on to the lab table to keep from being knocked down from the efficacious power of the spell. The energy conveyed from the windows and began to circumvolute down into the beaker. Once done, the energy vanished as quickly as it was created.  
  
~*~  
  
Back in the basement, the girls just stopped suddenly. They stood, looking around at each other in confusion.  
  
Xander slowly got up and hesitantly glanced at the perplexed mob of women.  
  
"What's going on? Where am I? What's going on?" Some girl asked frantically.  
  
~*~  
  
In the boiler room, Buffy acknowledged that she wasn't alone in the room. The flashlight that was pointed in her direction was clue to that theory. She felt really cold, and gazed down, her eyes went wide at her lack of clothing. The flashlight was gone as she wrapped her arms around her nude form.  
  
"Hi, Oz!" The blonde chirped at the guitarist.  
  
Oz returned, "Hi."  
  
Buffy smiled nervously, "I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here."  
  
"But you're not a rat. So call it an upside," Oz reasoned with a small smile.  
  
The slayer nodded in agreement before responding, "You think maybe you could get me some clothing?"  
  
"Yes, I can. Just, uh," The werewolf paused, "don't go anywhere."  
  
He left, but he heard Buffy's last comment, "Really not an issue."  
  
~*~  
  
Joyce looked around in her basement, confused as to why so many people were there, some she didn't even know.  
  
"What... What did we..." Buffy's mother was at a loss for words.  
  
Xander looked down at Cordelia, and he realized that he should bring the cheerleader to the hospital, "I would love to explain but." Xander hoisted Cordelia back in his arms, "I have to get Cordelia to the hospital." 


	9. Cordelia's Confession

TITLE: Slash Style Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered  
  
AUTHOR: corrupt-blondie  
  
RATING: PG-13  
  
SUMMARY: Xander's botched love spell turns Cordelia into the most eligible single high school student for all women in Sunnydale!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I would like to thank Psyche Transcripts for the actual dialogue used in the episode.  
  
FEEDBACK: Of course! Any would be great!  
  
~*~  
  
In the mansion, both Angelus and Spike were staring at the dancing Drusilla.  
  
"She's been like that ever since she tasted that bimbo cheerleader," Angelus said to his wheelchair bound grandchilde.  
  
Drusilla twirled with a dreamy smile on her face, but that grin faded into a scowl towards her sire; "She's not a bimbo, Daddy. She's the singing rose, her siren song beckoning me to her." The female vampire pirouetted before facing the other vampires; "She will be mine."  
  
~*~  
  
In the library, the self proclaimed Scooby Gang were discussing the events of last night.  
  
"You were a rat?" Both Xander and Willow asked together in befuddlement.  
  
"Yeah," Buffy sighed dramatically, "Amy wasn't too pleased when she caught me making out with Cordelia."  
  
Willow's eyes bugged out, "You.you actually kissed Cordelia? Like tongues and. and other things?"  
  
The slayer nodded softly and the redhead added under her breath, "I wish got to do that."  
  
Buffy heard what her best friend mumbled but decided to ignore it and turned to Xander, "So. Drusilla tried to turn Cordelia?"  
  
"Yeah. If it weren't for the mob, we'd be dealing with the Cordy vamp. Not my cup of tea," Xander replied.  
  
"I feel so guilty," Willow stated softly, "I tried to ax murder Cordelia."  
  
Buffy looked to her friend and laid her hand on top of Willow's in a comforting manner, "It wasn't you. It was the spell."  
  
"Yeah," Xander snorted, "the one I started."  
  
Before anyone could reply to Xander's comment, Giles walked in from his office with a couple of books.  
  
"Here are some texts on Angelus, Drusilla, and Spike," Giles said to the group before him, clearly distracted.  
  
Buffy, ever observant, noticed this and asked, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," The older man avoided his charge's eyes, "let's get to work everyone."  
  
~*~  
  
Xander knocked on hospital door, grasping at the bouquet of flowers like he would die without them. Slowly entering the room, he saw Cordelia lying on the bed, staring at the night sky.  
  
"Cordelia," Xander called softly.  
  
The cheerleader turned to face him, "Hey."  
  
Xander walked closer to the bed, placing the flowers on the nearby table, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry."  
  
"I should be mad at you," Cordelia stated and Xander lowered his head in guilt, "but I'm not. well not as much as I should be."  
  
Her ex-boyfriend looked up in shock and Cordelia continued, "I mean, who wouldn't? A mob of love-crazed women chased me all throughout Sunnydale, nearly died by the hands of Drusilla, and to top it all off. Joyce flirted with me." Cordelia shivered, "Sure, the woman knows how to moisturize, but she's a little too old for my taste. Back to the point I was trying to make. I consider this a blessing in disguise."  
  
"Really?" Xander inquired hopefully. "How?"  
  
"It made me realize something," Cordelia paused dramatically, "I'm a lesbian."  
  
Xander's mouth gaped in shock.  
  
The End  
  
A/N: Obviously this is just the beginning, so a sequel will be in the works. 


End file.
